staff at checkout: that’ll be $9.95
me: here’s $10.00
me: keep the change
I googled “angry duck” and I’m really glad I did
I feel you, little duck
i caNT BREATHE
now that im in the space mood i’d like to remind each and every one of you that NASA drew a dick on mars. we drew a dick on another planet. that is mankind’s legacy.
THIS IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE SURFACE OF MARS. PLEASE NEVER FORGET THIS.
my 6-year-olds were upset because i taught them ‘television’ and they were like NO TEACHER IT’S A TV
so i wrote ‘television’ on the board and highlighted “T” and “V” and they reacted like i’d just taught them the secrets of the universe